What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
13.06.2025 02:41
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
TEXT:
Why do men suck dick? Me, I can't get enough
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Has your wife or girlfriend ever been felt up in public by a stranger?
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
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Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
What is the nastiest thing you had your wife do and she loved it?
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
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I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
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Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Make Nazis afraid again!
Why is my ex mad I moved on when he dumped me?
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
How can I stop overthinking and take action more quickly?
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
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Shameless vixen! Trollop!